CutMeLoose.com

For the past two years, our family has been on a trek that has been defined by pain, joy, anger, and despair. Watching your daughter suffer through two brain surgeries, 6 months of chemo, various therapies, and hope only being answered by disappointment will shake a parent to the core of their soul.

As I write this, I'm watching Maggie lay through the after-effects of another seizure. They wipe her out. Within the next two - three weeks, she'll be scheduled for a highly advanced MRI that should isolate the hot spot of her seizures. Having that information will likely lead to the removal of the right temporal lobe of her brain.

Many people have asked me how all of this has effected me. I've grown closer to my wife than I ever thought possible. I've sat in my office for days and just cried, not getting any work done. I've noticed the tone in my voice become very tense when I talk with my kids. We've made it through financial hardships due to the wonderful kindness of others. Praying to God, I've lashed out in anger and been thankful that we are exactly where He wants us to be, all in the same prayer. I've longed for our family to return to a normal way of life, struggling to come to terms with this new normal. I've come to realize that this new life that God has for us is so much richer than what we ever had before. There is no safer place than we are right now - exactly where He wants us.

Meanwhile, my daughter has layed in bed praying that she won't have another seizure as she goes to sleep. She's cried herself to sleep countless nights that her hair would grow back and that people wouldn't call her a boy. Its' been a long haul for her and its' not over yet, even with finally being declared cancer free.

So, why pain? I'm convinced that God begins to show us His true heart through suffering. He longs for us to communicate with Him on a real, personable level. Lash out at Him with anger and frustration and in another minute, you'll be crying to Him for help. That's prayer. Its' real communication. Its' transparent communication. We do that when we are suffering. Our guards are down and we are reliant on Him and His body for help - we can't do it all ourselves any longer. That's where He wants us so we can be molded. If we are transparent with others at the same time, we show others that the Christian walk is never an easy one. God never promised us a life of ease. He did promise to comfort us.

So, relish where God has you and be thankful that He loves you enough to bring you through such a journey and show you a glimpse of Himself that very few others will ever get to see. No matter what happens, hold on to the fact that God is good.